Being Kelly

I’m here today, with published author, Kelly Shackelford. Hi, Kelly!

Hello, Nic.

You have quite a repertoire! Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I am a mom of 4 kids, 10 cats and a turtle! In my spare time, I am a Romance Enhancement Specialist that helps women build stronger, healthier relationships, and I help women gain financial independence by owning their own company, (think the toy lady.)

Um… with 15 others to care for, I’m surprised ‘spare time’ is in your vocabulary!

(giggle) Also, I was editor of The Old Red Kimono for 2 years and I’ve had numerous pieces published in various venues such as Woman, FC Bytes, Boys’ Quest and The Sunday Suitor.

 I clawed my way from estimator to the first female project manager for the largest metal building company in the world, and then I decided that working myself to death was not my idea of living and I retired at 35.

Yeah, working is overrated. (giggle) Retired at 35—very impressive.

When did you start writing?

I began writing at 22 as a way to deal with my dad’s suicide, and the domestic violence I was enduring. Writing was my sanity and my escape. My early works were very dark and tended to deal brutally with these subjects. I was waiting to die and I wanted to pen my soul before my time was up.

 I can remember taking a beating and as blood dripped from my lip, grabbing paper and penning how it tasted and felt. How the cracking of one my teeth sounded through the ringing of my ears, and how my heart stopped as he pulled a pocket knife. For some that would sound macabre, but for me it was a way to survive and to somehow separate myself from the violence. It saved me.

 I wrote many pieces on abuse and had them published while I was still married to him. I always showed him the published works as if the words in black and white could vindicate me and would find him guilty. Of course, most times, it would lead to a beating, but there was power in showing him that the world knew. I was not keeping his secret or carrying his shame.

 When I became editor of The Old Red Kimono, it validated me. It spurred me on to take my craft seriously, and that I was worthy of such seriousness.

As women, we tend to downplay our works and our efforts as trivial or nonsensical, and by doing that we squash our own dreams. We are our own dream killers. I have “I am worthy” in bold letters above my desk.

We have to believe we are worthy of the dream and the work it takes to accomplish it. You have to give yourself permission to believe in yourself. Society teaches us to be mild and meek, but there are times we should roar loudly.

Wow, Kelly. You are a very strong and inspirational woman. I agree; writing can be cathartic. I’m glad your writing passion helped you get through the dark times in your life. Oh, and I love the quote above your desk! (smile)

Do you have any current writing projects or goals?

Yes, I am working on three novels. A young adult paranormal, a literary novel, and a sassy vampire novel. 3 poems a week and 3 chapters is my goal.

Busy Bee! I suppose the month of November (Nanowrimo) is even busier, eh? (giggle)

Is there a work you’ve written that you are particularly proud of?

Anything that deals with the abuse I suffered. I have had so many women tell me it inspired them, and for some it was the catalyst for them to leave their abusers. The Battered Wife’s Prayer, in particular, is such a striking look at a battered wife and her psyche. How you accept that he will kill you one day. How you take the beatings and learn to live with the violence as if it was normal. I am very proud of that piece. I wrote it after taking a beating. I grew up as preacher’s daughter, so every night I still say my prayers. When I lay down, beaten and sore, it poured out from my battered heart. (http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=337442&userid=402295&tf=0)

Who or what first inspired you to write?

I grew up without a TV, and I am not an outdoorsy type of gal, so reading was my thing. I read everything from Gone with the Wind, to the Bible, to my mom’s trashy romances. I was raised in a very strict home, and my mom purchased Barbara Cartland for me to read and hid the good stuff. My imagination took off after reading Jackie Collins or Beatrice Small. The world became a much more interesting place for me after visiting with those gals.

A strong voice and vivid characters inspire me. Plot is great, but it is nothing without characters. I love villains and bad boys if they are drawn fully. I hate two dimensional characters that have no redeeming qualities. An all good or bad character is boring and the kiss of death for me. I love Sherilyn Kenyon, James Rollins, Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston.

Life without TV? Now that’s just wrong! (giggle)

Who is your greatest supporter?

I am my greatest supporter. Not that I have an ego, but every writer, and women in particular, must believe they are worth the effort. I do belong to Fanstory which is a great venue for guidance. I highly recommend writers to join. The feedback I’ve received has really helped me polish my work.

Very insightful. If we don’t believe in ourselves, how can we expect that from others? Believe!

I too am a member of FanStory. Fanstorians are a great group of people! I’ve made awesome friends there, and improved my craft.

Do you have a favorite author or book?

I like Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child and their Pendergast series. They have non-stop action and strong characters that pull you in! My favorite book is Still Life With Crows.

Well, I think I already know the answer to this, but what has been the most challenging thing for you to write about?

I think anything to do with my dad is hard for me. He committed suicide when I was just 22, and it left such a void that has never been filled. When I write about him, it tends to bring that raw hurt bubbling to the surface. I can hear the gunshot blasting in the dead of that cold, April night. I can feel his heart being ripped apart, his body slumping against the old oak tree where he laid for days until my mom found him. It kills me slowly, word by word, drip by drip to revisit that pain, to open that wound and pour it onto paper is such a bitter thing.

As a child (even grown) to know that your parent chose to leave you all alone is a very painful and difficult thing to process. It destroys your self-worth and it took me years to build it back.

I would love to write about a woman that loses her father to suicide, but every time I start, it takes me back to the dark place and I can never go back there. I could never survive a second tour of hell. I guess it will be the greatest story I never told.

I really appreciate you sharing that. I can only imagine how difficult that was and is for you. I understand how those memories and buried emotions are unbearably hard to revisit. I’m very sorry for the pain in your past, yet proud that you’ve overcome so much and have emerged a compelling and motivated woman.

You are most interesting, Kelly. You have been very candid and open, sharing the most intimate and painful memories and passions. Thank you for visiting with me. I’ve gotten to know you better and have gained a new friend. (smile and hugs)

I am very honored that you thought of me, Nic! Thank you.